It’s not full anymore. It’s no longer whole.
A heart can never regain all the pieces, it can only be sewn together for a little while.
Thread is fragile.
I saw you sit,
Overwhelmed in self pity.
Negativity encased your very being
Your life seemed to spiral
It was at rock bottom, it could not get any worse
You hated it.
I see your family
Overwhelmed by sadness and loss
Their positivity has been crushed.
Your life never had a chance to improve
Get better, like it would have.
They miss you.
You had hit rock bottom, could not see
The only thing you seemed to think possible;
You took the easy way out.
Easy for you.
Hard for everyone that loved you.
They still do love you
We still do.
The fact you missed is this:
When you hit the bottom
There’s only one way to go;
You had hope. But it’s gone now.
Your family had hope. But it’s gone now.
Those that love you had hope. But it’s gone now.
The hope died when you did.
Eyes wide open, only b l a c k appears.
Seer of All,
help me see like the blind
Start my eyes new.
What a beautiful sight,
when you’re seeing for the first time.
Fallen leaves crunch ‘neath
Her boots, she is overwhelmed.
More than colors changed.
Overwhelming Complexity Put Simply
hints are left unconcealed
I have no power
over the way you feel
The past still hurts
Try to avert
I won’t forget.
See the slits
I know you lie
I actually tried.
Always, a part still longs for you.
Longing overtakes my being.
I want to be more.
I want to make you proud.
I give my all to everything.
More than that.
I try to make you proud.
To the point of pure exhaustion
My life is nothing more than
Attempts to make you proud.
A ceaseless, persistant failure.
No more I can do;
I can not make you proud.
But if I stop working towards
a more-than impossible goal,
Perhaps I’ll make you proud.
I’ll stop trying any of it.
No more striving, pushing, breathing.
Now, does that make you proud?
Sometimes I can’t sleep.
Before the moon is gone,
Turn up the volume, make sure of no spelling errors,
I press play to fool myself into thinking somebody,
Would care enough to be with me.
Then, ever, always.
The roof over my head,
The walls keeping me in,
The floor that I walk on,
The windows that I peer through.
I see the outside world;
I have no true desire for it.
This is my house.
I feel comfortable here.
This is my home
And I don’t want to leave.
You Never Left My Side
Tears fed pools of pain filling to destroy
My empty heart. I cry day after day.
Now, tears instead express a new Joy
That requires sobbing to well portray
Love; my dark is illuminated.
Night fell, but divine stars enlight my soul.
Melody to heart, a tune elated
My awkward harmonies have become whole.
Mem’ries of dreams; reality is more.
A warm embrace, Comfort on which none tread.
Old regret; wrong choices were made before
I feel nothing but the Love being shed
No matter what happens, Your Love is clear.
Winter melted quickly, my Spring is here.
Not To Your Face
I’m waiting for it to all go out.
Completely, fully, entirely
I wish to sleep.
There, I dream.
They are synonyms.
My healthy way.
Other things hurt me
Endanger my sanity
In sleep, nothing hurts,
People can’t harm me.
In sleep, I am alone. No judgement.
And I think for myself.
What beautiful dreams I have.
Her head lay lightly on his shoulder,
Their fingers gently entwine together.
Tingles, butterflies, love: careless labels
This is deeper still. They call it friendship.
Things I Don’t Know
I don’t know any celebrities.
I’ve never met any.
I probably never will.
I have a boring past, my family’s nothing special.
I see nothing to brag about in my life.
I’m really not that interesting.
I don’t know one hundred digits of pi.
I claim to be good at math.
I don’t know chemicals or atoms.
I don’t know dates of historical events.
I don’t know the capitals of the states.
I’m really not that smart.
I don’t know what color will accent her eyes.
I have no clue the fit that will accent her shape.
I don’t know the best hair products.
I need help to shop for the right things.
I’m really not that “hip.”
I don’t know every function on camera.
I sing, play piano and guitar; not well.
I don’t know how to paint a human.
I draw no better than a young child.
I can’t knit, or even sew very well.
I’m really not that talented.
I don’t know why anyone likes me.
I’m amazed people want to call me friend.
I’m impressed by people that put up with me.
I barely can.
I don’t know how to be anything but average.
I don’t know if that’s enough.
I’m really not that special.
I Am Not In Love
This is not a love poem.
For I am not in love.
Love is of four letters
for a reason.
Love works not with me.
Love works not for me.
My history proves that love is
truly out to harm me.
I will not say that I’m in love,
because I’m not.
I refuse to be of that label.
I am not love; love is not I.
I like you because you’re special
I like you because you’re smart
I like you because you’re kind-hearted
I like you because you’re talented
I like you because you like me
I like you because you’re respectful
I like you because you’re thoughtful
I like you because you care about the world
I like you because you’re spiritual
I like you because you’re determined
I like you because you’re silly
I like you because you’re cute
I like you because you’re patient
I like you because you’re imaginative
I like you because you’re encouraging
I like you because you’re a good listener
I like you because you’re comforting
I like you because I’m a mess and you don’t mind
I like you because you have a warm soul.
I am not
Flow gently from
Vibrating chords inside.
Soft notes float, the piano sings